Wednesday, July 29, 2009

doofus mcdoofy

What is wrong with me? I seem to be doing some really stupid things. Sometimes I think I’m just not as sharp as I used to be (shut up everyone!) and maybe I’m just getting old. I don’t think getting older necessarily means you’re going to do stupid things, but in my case……
I’m looking forward to my “mature” years (retirement in 10 years!!), but I’m afraid I might be one of those people who forget about the oven being on and then burn down my house. Some evidence to present to you;
1) Last week when Andre was gone I put some frozen veggies in the pressure cooker. It takes awhile for the jiggler to start jiggling so I guess I forgot about it and went outside to water my garden. THANK GOODNESS I came in about 10 minutes later and heard the sound of the pressure cooker going full blast. The veggies were very well done, but I was lucky I didn’t get side tracked by something else.
2) I got to work one day and realized my pants were on backwards. They were pull on with stretch waist so that’s an easy mistake…..right? Everyone got a good laugh at my expense.
3) I constantly spill things on my clothes. My coworkers can tell if I’ve already been to lunch by looking at my shirt.
4) Speaking of that, last week I stopped at Starbucks on my way to work and got a Grande Soy Mocha. Walking into the door I switched hands to show my badge to the guard and of course spilled my coffee on my shirt. I got a lot of it out in the ladies room at work, but someone told me to use a Tide Pen and I remembered buying that at Costco last year. I got home, got the stain pen out and rubbed it all over the stains on my shirt. Got the shirt out of the wash and saw lots of WHITE BLEACHED SPOTS all over the shirt. It wasn’t till the next day when I was telling people about this that I looked it up online and realized what I had was actually the CLOROX BLEACH PEN – for use on grout and caulking. Then I remembered I had actually bought it for the bathroom grout. STUPID!
5) This morning I got out a bandage for a blister on my toe. Went to put it on and it looked really strange. Then I realized it was a nasal strip. OKAY, the box looks the same.

So maybe I just need glasses, and I really have been kind of dorky and clumsy and absent minded (it’s from thinking about too many things at once, right?) all my life. Age is really about how you feel. Just wish I didn’t feel so dorky and clumsy and old.

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